Leonardo anatomy drawing

In the course I am taking, Living Powerfully, (the course that got me moving on the osteoporosis situation) we are encouraged to create an “empowering context” for what we are doing in life.  Right now I am taking care of this osteoporosis problem, so the empowering context I created for myself is that “I am the possibility of strength and resilience”.

I’ve been feeling panicked this evening.  That pain in my neck–is it muscular or is it my spine degenerating?  Those yoga exercises–I read they are dangerous for osteoporosis. I started catastrophising, visualizing my mother’s suffering, imagining myself unable to work, dependent. I began to despair.

During a phone call with my class mates, Eileen said something very powerful.  She said, “When you are having a breakdown, remember your empowering context”.

From my position of fear, I remembered that I am the “possibility of strength and resilience”. It was immediately heartening. Telling myself those words is encouraging.  This is another reminder of the power of words.

I signed up for a fitness club today and have an appointment with a trainer in the morning. This club is normally too expensive for my budget but this week they are offering a deep discount for teachers–I am only paying 1/3 of the normal fee!  It is a miracle.  The need was there and suddenly the solution appeared, almost effortlessly.  Thank you, Guardian Angels!

Two weeks ago I started taking a 10 week seminar course called “Living Powerfully”. Landmark Education promised that, “In this seminar, you’ll find yourself generating the stakes to a new or expanded game, based in what matters most to you. You’ll clear up past issues that may have stopped or limited you, and experience a new ability to meet and take on challenges, to get and stay on track with what you know is possible.”

During the first class, the instructor, Maryanne asked, “What would your life be like if you didn’t have “X” hanging over your head?”  For me, “X” was the question: “Do I have Osteoporosis?” I had been living with this fear for years but I was paralyzed, unable to deal with it.  I bought books about osteoporosis that I could not bear to read. My fear was so great, and of course, living in fear and denial created a self fulfilling prophecy.  I would end up like my mother.

I imagined my life without that doubt hanging over my head, without fear.  I felt light, free.  A whole big space would be empty in my heart, ready to be filled with something positive.  I was inspired and the next morning, I phoned the Osteoporosis Center at the Hospital for Joint Diseases and made an appointment to get checked out.